There are a few important things I learnt while in Lebanon and if we hadn’t hired a car I might never have become this wise:
1. There is no need to let lanes dictate to you. If you can realistically fit 4 cars on the road you should have 4, not the 2 that the lanes think- what do lanes know?
2. Using your indicator is a sign of weakness. If driving is about survival of the fittest then you can’t afford any weakness
3. Beeping your horn is essential in all situations- changing lanes, turning corners, driving straight etc. The smart move is to drive with your hand on your horn permanently (yes I am aware that sounds dirty)
4. If you park straight then there is more of a chance of someone touching your car. Embrace your inner French and where possible take up 2 parking bays
5. Lebanese time is different to London time or Perth time. Essentially if someone says 5 minutes times it by 10 add 51 divide by 0.3 and then multiply by that number again you will have how long it is really going to take.
6. Redheads cannot be terrorists. You can drive through 10,000 checkpoint charlies –scarf or no scarf- and as soon as they see your lily white face and heathen red hair you are going to get waved through. No matter how much you want to be checked. It’s like they have never heard of the IRA
7. Burnouts in the snow are fun. Nothing more really to be said here.
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